Life-changing books, movies and blogs are rare, but there are those that change your heart, your mind, and your very way of living, books like the Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Album.
Each novel, blog or self-help program carries the promise of a New You – a well-rested, effortlessly creative person who goes to the gym five times a week, reads 100 books a year, completes a day’s work in two hours, meditates and journals every morning and launches startup businesses in their spare time in between raising gritty, grateful offspring – all while somehow remaining “stress-free."
The problem with these life-changing things, is that few rarely put what they learn into action to actually change their lives.
It isn't that they haven't affected us, but rather a lack of internalization of the information we get - Our inability to put into daily practice those life changing aspects we read, see or hear during our journey.
Most of the time we just skim over these experiences instead of taking the time to let them sink in, we must allow the lessons to permeate our inner most self.
I was taught the process of internalization by a process called "the Two Foot Drop".
The two-foot drop is the term used to describe the process by which a person comes to believe something in their innermost self after they already accepted it into their mind.
It is the process by which a person must get the knowledge of their condition or situation from their head (understanding) into their spirit (innermost self).
Old beliefs must be replaced with new ones supporting a lifestyle free from those old or outdated values or beliefs.
A few critical definitions are required:
Belief: A belief is a fact (true or false) which is in a person's belief system inside his innermost self (or spirit). What a person believes is his innermost self will cause him to perceive it that way in his spirit regardless of evidence to the contrary, presented to him from the outside. Remember, the spirit of a person is the real person on the inside.
Knowledge: Knowledge is information that a person has in his mind. The mind is part of the person's soul (or ego). Whatever a person knows in his mind causes him to see it that way through his reasoning. Remember, a person isn't a mind, he just has one.
Innermost Self: Your innermost Self is who you really are on the inside. To know your innermost self is to know your purpose, values, vision, goals, motivations, and beliefs. Not what you have been told by others, but what you have discovered for yourself. Knowing your innermost self requires a high level of introspection and self-awareness.
A person comes to believe in his innermost self whatever they continue to say to others about themselves.
If they sincerely desire to come to believe it, you must give it away to receive it, and you keep giving it away to keep it.
It's not an event that happens to you overnight, it takes time and footwork.
Once this internalization happens, it must be maintained through vigorous application of the information in a regular and deliberate practice.
This is the second step of the process and it takes time, effort and maintenance.
Without proper maintenance, people tend to eventually revert back to their former beliefs.
Many of us have heard this lesson in one form or another, but this lesson can take years, maybe even decades, to sink in.
Therefore, reading one blog post or getting advice from a mentor will never be enough for a true-life changing event, since knowledge is nothing unless we can apply it
For me personally, a major life-lesson that I was able to internalize is “self-sacrifice brings fulfillment”
I was given the book Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom shortly before my father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, and while I had read it before, I had never fully internalized the message.
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. . . . This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to something that gives you purpose and meaning."
Morrie said these words to Mitch on their first meeting after sixteen years, and he repeats them again later.
By repeating the phrase “devote yourself” three times, Morrie makes clear that self-sacrifice and looking outward to others, rather than focusing on the self, is the key to being fulfilled.
He points out that the people without meaningful lives “seem half-asleep, even when they’re doing things, they think are important.”
Mitch recognizes himself in that description but does not immediately change his ways.
His devotion to loving Morrie becomes the first step toward self-improvement.
I spent considerable time reflecting on the lessons presented within the book, as well as my personal experiences by journaling, having conversations, and writing about my experience.
And so the knowledge I gained from the novel was moved from my head to my innermost self.
It was because of that change in belief, I was able to sacrifice my time and attention to the care of my father-in-law without any concept of re-payment or need of applause for my actions.
I was present in the moment and found meaning in my life by devoting myself to loving and caring for another human being.
I have also found that after repeated exposure to these life lessons, I am now working on applying this knowledge in everyday life by constant internalization of them.
I have also learned the inescapable truth the gurus never tell you is that self-improvement never ends.
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